


Women Are Like Wolves

by casstayinmyass



Category: The Office (US)
Genre: Bad Flirting, Beets, Dwight Being Dwight, F/M, Idiots in Love, Kinky, Learn Your Rules, Secret Crush, Secret Relationship, Sexual Tension, Smut, Spanking, The Author Regrets Nothing, Wall Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 13:42:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13101381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casstayinmyass/pseuds/casstayinmyass
Summary: When Michael Scott hires you, Jim's sister, to replace Angela's position in the Office, Dwight is struck by you immediately... and has a very bad way of showing it.





	Women Are Like Wolves

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know. Don't ask me.

"Hey Jimmy," you say as you enter the office and hang your coat up. Your brother looks over, and your sister in law, Pam, glances over with a giggle.

"Hey uh... no calling me that at work, remember?" Jim says.

"Yeah, he's right!" Andy cuts in, "He's got a better name, (y/n)!"

"Oh, that's right," you grin, going over to your desk, "How's my big brother, the Big Tuna, doing?" You slap Andy a high five, and Jim makes a pinched face. He hates that you've become friends with Andy Bernard, skyrocketing how irritating you both are by combining your powers of annoying him. At least you haven't warmed up to Dwight- it would be his worst nightmare if you two joined forces against him.

Still... he loves you more than anything, and can't stay mad.

"Alright. Get lost," he laughs, and you smile, sitting down.

"GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!" you hear, and there's a collective groan as Michael enters. "How's my family doing this lovely morning?!" He's been putting a huge emphasis on family lately, ever since he hired you as Angela's replacement and since you're related to Jim.

"We're not your family," Stanley speaks up.

"Well... you can't choose your family, Stanley," Michael shrugs.

"Thank god," Stanley replies, going back to his work, and your boss looks down.

"Alright, well... (y/n)! How are you doing? You're always happy, make me happy."

"Uhhh, I like your suit Michael," you blurt, first thing coming to mind, and Michael points at you.

"Hear that everyone? That is a pick me up, given to me by my loving daughter."

"Well," you wince, "I mean, I'm not your-"

"My daughter loves me, as does my son and my other daughter and... all my children!" he shouts. Dwight raises his hand. "Okay, what is it, Dwight?"

"I think your suit looks good, Michael."

"Yeah, well..." Michael rubs his lip, "You had your chance. You can't just repeat what (y/n) said."

"I can do it better," Dwight points out, "Just like everything else she does." You scowl over at him.

You honestly don't know what's with that guy. On your first day, you had been intrigued by him, as he seemed to be a very smart, pretty attractive guy in his own right, but since then, he had been a complete asshole to you without fail. Jim had offered to talk to Dwight about it, telling you that he's always like this, but you just left him to his pranks- you didn't want your big brother standing up for you every time an office feud happened. And that's all this was- Michael liked you better than Dwight right now, so he was just jealous and lashing out because of it.

You look over to Jim and Pam, and give them a dismissive wave- it doesn't matter to you.

A little later in the day, you walk over to the copier, going to finish up some printing-- just as you do though, Dwight cuts past you and slaps a stack of papers down to copy, effectively knocking your papers out of your arms.

"O-kay," you murmur, bending down to collect them with the help of Kelly. He just gives you a smug smirk, and your jaw clenches as you sit back down. His smile quickly disappears as you leave, and he bites his lip. You miss that, as you're reorganizing your papers.

After helping Michael with something in the parking lot, Dwight comes back to the office to find a group gathered around you.

"When did you get it?" Oscar asks.

"When I was 18," you say, looking down at the Star Trek tattoo on your ankle where you had pulled up your pant leg. "I'm a huge fan, have been since I was a kid."

"What's going on here?" Dwight asks, and rolls his eyes when he sees. "You'd all better get back to the phones before I report you to my superior."

"To me?" Jim crosses his arms, and Dwight purses his lips.

"We were just looking at (y/n)'s tattoo," Phyllis supplies, and Dwight scoffs.

"Tattoos are stupid..." He trails off, gaze falling upon the Star Fleet insignia. His right eye twitches, and he rubs his neck. Pam had told you how much Dwight loved anything nerdy, so you were hoping to win a few Brownie points here with the guy who apparently hated you.

"I always preferred Star Wars," he finally says, and you deflate, letting your pant leg fall as everyone dispersed to their corners again.

"That's totally not true," Jim says to Dwight, "You've told me numerous times how scientifically superior Star Trek is."

Dwight looks over. "Please be quiet, I'm trying to concentrate."

* * *

"Hey Dwight," Kevin says later in the break room, "What's with you and (y/n)? You don't seem to like her very much."

Dwight snaps his head over. "Good, I don't."

"Oh," Kevin nods, and steps closer. "You know, I do the exact same thing when I've got it bad for someone. That is, after I've asked them to have hot sex with me and they turn me down."

Dwight makes a disgusted face, giving Kevin a once over, then huffs and turns back around. "What makes you think I like her? I just told you I didn't, you idiot."

"Right," Kevin nods with a grin, "Your secret's safe with me buddy." As he turns to walk away though, he thinks of something. "Oh... you'd better make a move fast. Word around the office is, Andy's gonna ask her out tonight."

Dwight goes pale, and his eyes widen.

"Excuse me, move," he says, shoving past Kevin, and he storms out into the office. "(y/n)!" he shouts. You look up, startled, and everyone eyes Dwight as he suddenly feels very nervous, looking around. "I, uh... you... I'm giving you a new... client, get to work," he says, and puts his head down, marching back to his desk. Jim frowns at him, smiling.

"What's up with you?"

"Shut up, I don't need two Halperts on my mind."

"Oh, so one Halpert is on your mind?" Jim asks, swinging around in his chair, "Is it the shirt I wore today? Didn't think you were one to notice the little things, Dwight, but it appears I underestimated you."

"Alright, stop," Dwight looks up again, glaring, "You know very well it's not you I'm thinking about."

"Oh, so it's my sister," Jim raises an eyebrow at him.

"No," Dwight says matter-of-factly.

"My... dog?" Jim cocks his head, and Dwight lets out a long sigh.

"Just... leave me alone, Jim."

Jim shrugs. "Whatever you say. Just stop thinking about my dog, okay? I'm sure you've got plenty of animals on your farm."

Dwight doesn't even fight back this time, instead wearily answering another call. Jim spends a moment staring, wondering what was wrong with him today.

"I'm gonna grab some more coffee," you say over at your desk, looking at Oscar, "You need any?"

"That'd be great, (y/n)," he smiles, "Thanks."

You and Oscar had also hit it off, as you had a lot in common with your taste in music and TV shows.

You go into the kitchen, and Dwight looks around conspiratorially before stretching.

"I think I'll just... grab some more coffee."

"Okay. Don't terrorize my sister, she's in there," Jim says absently, yawning. Dwight nods slowly, then clears his throat.

"Well, I don't even wanna talk to her anyway."

Jim looks up at this. "Hey, what's your deal with her, man? She's a great person if you get to know her."

"I'm sure she is," Dwight says in the most level voice he can maintain while remaining expressionless, and gets up to head to the kitchen. Jim shakes his head, mouthing "what the fuck" to Pam, who shrugs back.

In the kitchen, you hum some John Denver to yourself as you brew the coffee.

"Almost heaven... west Virginia... Blue Ridge mountains, Shenandoah river..."

Suddenly, a voice behind you surprises you.

"Life is old there, older than the trees, younger than the mountains, blowing like a breeze."

You blink at Dwight, a smile curling at your lips. "You... like that song?"

"Like it?" he huffs, coming up beside you at the counter, "It was the song I taught myself to play the guitar with."

"You play?" you ask, "That's so cool! I tried to play, but I couldn't get the hang of it, really."

"Not surprising," Dwight puffs out his chest, then catches himself. "Uh... I mean, it's completely surprising you couldn't get it. All it takes it a little practice." He cracks the closest thing to a smile he could manage, and you narrow your eyes. Is he pranking you? Just this morning, he was being nasty as ever, and now he's offering you guitar advice? He seems to catch this too, as the half-smile on his face quickly disappears and replaces itself with a scowl.

"What kind of coffee are you brewing?" he asks.

"Medium roast."

"Figures," Dwight scoffs, "You couldn't handle the dark roast. Too strong for your weak taste buds, obviously."

"For your information, Schrute, Michael told me you brought this roast in, so you're basically just insulting yourself now."

"I..." Dwight opens his mouth, then shuts it again, clenching his jaw. "Well, tastes change. They develop. They refine."

"Yeah. Yeah, they sure do," you nod, "Like, I thought you were kind of cute on my first day. I wanna go back in time now and smack myself silly!" With that, you snatch yours and Oscar's cups, and leave Dwight standing there aimlessly, wanting to say something but not fully bringing himself too.

"Ooh, harsh," Dwight hears, and looks over to see Kelly eating in the corner of the room. "You know, I think you should really-"

"Wait, wait- you were here the whole time?" he asks, and she shrugs.

"I can be quiet when I want to be."

"Impossible, go on."

"Well... for me, it's always a super huge turn on when a guy plays hard to get and is a total asshole to me, cause it just makes me want him more right, but there are other times I just want him to cuddle me like a big teddy bear and want him to whisper sweet nothings in my ear as he feeds me pizza, y'know?"

Dwight blinks. "What is the point of your verbal diarrhea?"

Kelly sighs. "If you like her, feed her pizza while you two cuddle!"

"Why does everyone think I like her!?" Dwight practically shouts, "I HATE HER! SHE IS THE WORST! And I am saying that while Andy Bernard still exists in this universe!"

"You called?" Andy pops his head into the kitchen.

"I did NOT!" Dwight barks, and Andy puts his hands up, retreating back to his desk. "Now can we just stop talking about her?"

"You mean the girl you like?" Kelly smiles.

"Who, (y/n)?" Michael comes in, punching Dwight's shoulder playfully. Dwight opens his mouth incredulously, but Michael waves a hand. "Please, everyone thinks Jim's little sister is hot."

"There is nothing about her that is hot!" Dwight growls, "Her stupid hair and her boring face and her... her radiant eyes, as bright as the reflection of the sunrise on my freshly-harvested beets."

"Okay, well, you and your beets need to get in line, pal," Michael huffs.

"Um Michael, just this morning you were calling her your daughter..." Kelly begins to point out.

"I guess you'll be getting "blue-beets" waiting while I'm still on the market," Michael continues to joke, and Dwight crosses his arms.

"False, I would never let myself get blue balls. This is the kind of situation man invented masturbation for."

Toby pauses as he opens the door, looking dismayed.

"Guys, this is... this is not an appropriate workplace discussion..."

"Oh, like you don't choke your chicken," Michael scoffs, "You're divorced, it's probably all you have left in your life."

"Actually, I've taken up painting landscapes..." the HR Rep whispers, and Michael shakes his head.

"-In fact, I'm sure that's all you do." Michael suddenly slaps his face, convulsing. "OH GOD!"

"What is it, Michael, are you okay?" Dwight rushes to him as their boss splashes a cup of cold water in his own face.

"No, no Dwight I am not okay, I just imagined Toby jacking off and I think I just died."

"Okay," Toby says quietly, taking his binder and closing the door behind him. Michael decides he's going to head back to his office as well, and when he does, Dwight turns, glaring daggers at Kelly.

"You will not tell anyone of this conversation about (y/n). Remember, I have swords, knives, and ninja stars at my ready disposal all over this office, Kapoor." He leaves the kitchen, and returns to his desk.

"You didn't get the coffee," Jim comments, not pausing his typing.

"I changed my mind," Dwight snaps.

* * *

You let out a long sigh, typing in some numbers in a PowerPoint you were setting up for the new client you'd been given. Oscar looks over.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," you say, and he nods.

"Okay."

You bite your lip, and put the papers down, turning to him. "It's just that-" He smiles, and you roll your eyes. "Shut up, it's just that I tried so hard to get on everyone's good side without being a kissass... I mean, it sucks to have bad blood with someone you basically just met, right? But he just makes it so hard and... aghh!"

"Yeah, that feeling you're trying to vocalize?" Oscar laughs softly, "Dwight inspires it in everyone, even Michael."

"But..." you groan, "I find him..." You give him a look, and Oscar's eyes widen.

"No..."

"Yes."

He spends a long time looking at you, before shaking his head in resignation. "He's not my type, but I guess that's a good thing."

"Oscar, I don't still like him or anything. He's rude and obnoxious."

"Good, I was worried for a second there," Oscar smirks. "I think Andy's got a thing for you."

"Andy?" You frown. "Nah, we're just really good friends."

"I'm telling you, there's something there. Don't date him, please."

"Why, you want a chance with him?" You grin at Oscar, and he eyes you warily.

"Oh, I'm not that desperate for a mistake rebound, thanks."

You giggle, then run a hand through your hair, getting back to work.

* * *

"So that's when he said her eyes were as bright as beet juice or something weird like that," Kelly says to Phyllis.

"Really? He said that?" Phyllis marvels.

"Yup, I was there and everything."

"Well, it does sound like something he would say..."

"Wait, but did you actually see the words come out of his mouth?" Kevin asks.

"Yes, Kevin!"

"Knew it," Kevin nods.

"What're all the cool kids talking about here?" Michael pops in, "Huh?"

"Michael, I need you sign these-" Toby begins to say behind him, but Michael just swings around.

"I said the cool kids, Toby!" Toby just nods, and sits back down. "So what're you talking about?"  Michael grins.

"Oh nothing," Kelly says.

"Just Dwight's massive crush on (y/n)," Kevin chuckles, "He's in love."

"Dwight's getting married?" Creed interjects, "Oh, congratulations, man!"

Dwight turns, confused. "What? No, I'm not getting married-" He suddenly freezes up, seeing Kelly talking to everyone, and gets up quickly.

"I am going to kill that woman. Kelly, can I speak to you for a second?" He asks, sweetness up to the full. She stares at him.

"I know my rights, you can't make me."

Dwight smiles. "I have a lot of friends at the police station. Maybe you'd like it if I called one of them over here, get them to help me take you to the station to do a little private interrogation."

"You need a warrant for that, and you can't get a warrant if you don't work there anymore," Kelly says indignantly, and Dwight clenches his fist.

"Dammit." He storms away, and you look over. He looks seriously upset.

* * *

Over at his desk, Dwight shakes his anxiety off and settles back into his calls. The phone goes off, and he picks it up.

"Dwight Schrute, Dunder Mifflin and Schrute Farms."

"Hi Dwight, this is Pam Beesly."

Dwight hesitates, before taking a deep breath. "Sorry Pam, our rooms are all booked up at the-"

"Dwight," Pam said, looking over pointedly, "What's wrong? You've been strange today."

"Nothing's wrong," Dwight tries to protest, but he catches Pam's eye, and he knows she won't give it up. "There's someone in the office who is attractive to me."

"Oh," Pam nods, "Okay, so you like them?"

Dwight swallows. "They are aesthetically pleasing and their personality is adequate. They're a suitable mate."

"Okay, cut the crap for a second and just tell me how you feel."

"I've got it bad for (y/n) from accounting."

Pam was silent for a second. "Really?"

"Like you didn't know," Dwight deadpans, "Kelly just went around telling everyone."

"Well she didn't get over to this side of the office, obviously," Pam murmurs. "Wow... (y/n)? She doesn't seem your type! Whenever I see her at home she's so bubbly and... friendly!"

"I know. Her personality has a few defects, but I'm sure we can work past them."

"Assuming she likes you back," Pam points out.

"She said she does," Dwight says, "She told me she thought I was "cute" when she first saw me. I would've preferred handsome or strong, or possibly chivalrous, but I'll take what I can get."

"Oh. Well good, I mean, you both like nerdy things... I think she really likes beets..."

"Really?" Dwight perks up, narrowing his eyes over at you.

"Oh yeah! She's like... the only one at the table who eats them when she comes over. And she likes bears too!"

"You're lying."

"No, I'm serious. She also lived in this ski town for a while around lots of black bears and grizzly bears... she thinks they're really cool." Pam bites her lip. "Just... never let Jim hear about this, okay? His pranks will escalate to murder."

"I know," Dwight mumbles,  looking over at his desk-mate, "We'll have to be stealthy. Which is half the fun."

"You know, um, there is one little hindrance to this whole thing," Pam brings up timidly.

"Yes?"

"(y/n) thinks you hate her."

"Yes," Dwight repeats, "That is a problem. But that makes the chase sweeter. When she's least expecting it, the predator will catch the prey."

Pam blinks, and looks up worriedly. "Dwight, that sounds very creepy."

"Okay," he murmurs, and Pam sighs.

"Look, just... offer her a compliment. Be nice to her! Then maybe things will get better."

"Kindness killed the cat, you know."

"Dwight, that's..." Pam rubs her face.

"Actually, I killed the cat. Angela's cat. What were we talking about?"

"Look, just try to be nice to her, okay?"

"Fine," Dwight snaps, "Thank you." He puts his phone back down, and tries to focus back on work.

* * *

Finally, five o clock rolls around, and Dwight gets up, packing his briefcase. You look at the time, and over at Dwight. He was leaving... you wouldn't see him until Monday.

Well, good. Maybe then he'd give you a little peace.

Suddenly, Andy gets up, and fiddles with a button a little as he approaches your table.

"Hey, little Tuna," he smiles, seemingly nervous.

"Hey Andy," you smile, "What's up?"

He sits on the edge of your desk. "You're a really cool lady, (y/n), and I, um... I just wanted to, uh..."

From over at his desk, Dwight looks up to see if you were still there... and sees Andy.

"Oh no," he breathes, and drops his briefcase, sending his papers scattering. "(y/n)!" he interrupts again, and Kevin glances over from the door, nudging Meredith.

"Oh, here we go."

"(y/n), I need to see you in the parking lot right now. There's an issue with your parking."

"What about my parking?" you growl.

"We received a complaint today that you didn't park your compact car in the compact spot. That's breaking company policy."

"Who complained?"

"I'm sorry, that's confidential."

You toss your hands up, and roll your eyes. "Sorry Andy," you say apologetically, "Can we talk Monday?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course," Andy blushes, rubbing his neck, "The Nard-Dog can always wait for a lady." He turns to see Dwight smiling smugly at him, and frowns. Dwight comes over, taking you by the arm and basically escorting you down to the parking lot.

"What the hell?" you ask, trying not to focus on the hair falling into Dwight's eyes as the wind blows them.

"Parking violation is a serious offense, you could be-"

"Oh, what are you gonna do, write me up?"

"I could very well do that, I could also handcuff you right now to this car."

"Oh god, do it."

Dwight goes to argue some more, before stopping. "What?"

You blink a few times, staring up at your coworker, and suddenly reach up, grabbing his face and smashing your lips to his. He lets out a startled noise, then moans deep, lips humming against yours. You begin to smile into the kiss, as does he, as you lift your leg up for him to hold. He grabs it, backing you against your car, and begins to roll his hips against you as you hook your leg behind his pants.

You suddenly break away. "I think this is against company policy too."

Honest to god, this is the first time you'd heard Dwight Schrute laugh.

"So how about those cuffs?" you ask.

"I've got a better idea," he smirks, nerdy salesman quickly replaced by a womanizer. He opens his car door, and beckons you in. "Leave yours here... I'll make up an excuse to Michael on Monday morning."

Monday morning? Oh, yes.

* * *

"So is this how you treat everyone you like? Making them think you hate them?"

"It worked on you."

"Barely. It could have gone either way- I was either going to kiss you or slap you. You're lucky I listened to what's between my legs rather than what's in my head."

He smirks. "On the contrary, I think it was an intelligent decision."

"Where are we going?" you ask, looking around.

"A place very special to my heart," he says, turning down the long dusty driveway. Your eyes widen.

"Wow... you took me to a romantic barn!"

"I live here."

You gasp, and the two of you get out. He leads you through the fields, and you gaze around at the endless rows.

"I bet this is where all the teenagers come and make out."

"Unfortunately," he mutters. He leans down, and plucks a beet from the ground.

"They're looking nice this year."

You pick one too, and hold it up against the moonlight. "One beet to rule them all!"

Dwight's eyes widen. "Oh my god." He drops his beet, and grabs your face, kissing you again with intensity and reverie. You moan, dropping your beet as well, and wrap your arms around his neck. He picks you up and carries you to the barn. Setting you down, he walks over to the corners, peeking around.

"What are you looking for?"

"Mose. He's my cousin... he likes to watch." You blink, and swallow a little nervously as Dwight claps. "MOSE! If you're in here, you're not getting any peach cobbler tomorrow!" Suddenly, you scream as someone jumps down behind you, and runs out. Dwight shakes his head. "He won't be bothering us for the rest of the night."

"Uh huh," you breathe, watching the strange man tear into the house, before Dwight takes your arm, spinning you back around and pushing you against the wall of the barn. You groan, and he scrapes your hair away from your shoulder, attaching his lips to it and leaving a dark mark there. "Everyone at the office is going to know," you whisper, and he nips at your ear.

"They already do," he whispers, and you smile.

"You told people you liked me?"

"No, Kelly did."

"Oh..." He captures you lips again, and your hands fall to his belt buckle, undoing his pants. He shrugs off his jacket, and lifts up your skirt as you unbutton your top. Once you're in your bra, he stares down at your breasts, speechless. He licks his lips, lightly massaging them in his hands, and you look up at him in lust, plucking his glasses off and tossing them away.

"Take me from behind?"

Dwight groans, biting his lip, and flips you around so that the side of your face is pressed to the wooden panels. "You're a naughty girl," he chastises, "I think you need to be taught a little lesson in manners." Then, he brings a hand down against your ass, beginning to sing softly. "Learn your rules. You better learn your rules. If you don't, you'll be eaten in your sleep." He growls in your ear. 

You moan. "That's hot."

Dwight looks enthralled. "Really? Nobody's ever found the rule song hot before."

You shrug, and grin. He gulps. "Want me to keep going?"

"Yes."

"Okay," he spanks you again, and you wiggle your hips back.

"God, fuck me Dwight!"

He lets out a little noise, and takes himself out, positioning and-

"Ahhh yeah," you smile, "Holy bananas you're big."

Dwight smirks. "I am an above average size. The Schrute gene pool is a well-endowed one."

"Harder!" He quickly buries himself deeper, giving your back the occasional slap as you shout his name. "Oh god I'm gonna come!"

"Fact, most women come within the first two minutes of sex. You have surpassed this, therefore you are a durable woman. This is very attractive to me."

You laugh, shaking your head. "Good. Keep doing what you're doing and that record won't last long."

The barn creaks with your weight being shoved against it repeatedly, and it only takes you both about five minutes before you come hard, breathing heavily and panting each other's names. Dwight's glasses are lost in the hay somewhere, and you both try to find them while giggling afterward, you still in your bra and him in his boxers as you scour the barn floor, trying to avoid piles of manure in the process.

"So," you say, standing at his car. He places his glasses back on, folding his arms.

"So."

He looks at you, and you look at him.

"Tomorrow is Saturday."

"Shit, you're right," you bite your lip. "My car is-"

"Right."

"Can I-"

"Would you like to-?"

You both pause, and nod as you follow Dwight back into the house, holding his arms.

"Make me beets and honey in the morning?" you whisper.

Dwight grins at the camera.

_"It was then I knew, I'd found my future Mrs. Schrute."_

* * *

Monday at the office, you both come in at the same time after much debate on whether or not to arrive at different times. Everyone looks over at you two, Oscar's mouth dropping and Andy's jaw clenching, and Pam looks down, keeping her lips sealed. Jim frowns.

"You gave my sister a ride, Dwight?"

"None of your business, Jim," Dwight snaps, then smiles. "But yes. I had her car towed on Friday, so I drove her in. Because I am a gentleman." He wasn't about to tell his desk mate he had also nailed you all weekend as well, even though he would have loved to rub that in his face.

Jim looks at you at your desk, you smiling as well, then looks at the camera and shrugs.


End file.
